The week after vacation is always hard. When people ask how our trip was, I typically say, “it was great! I could’ve used a few more days.” It’s true. A few more days? Weeks? Months? Yeah, I could use a whole lot more of any of those. But life presses on and so must we. We were really thrown back into the thick of life though. I’ve noticed a lot of my friends struggling this week too and there is this nagging tug on me to write about this feeling of being burnt out, drowning in adulthood if you will. And I will. So here are my gripes:
Bills, Bills, Bills!
Why can’t these things just pay themselves? And why do they never end? You know that feeling when you’re all caught up and then it’s like, LOL, NVM you need new brakes! My recommendation? Chase that feeling you had for five minutes when you thought that maybe you could grab some Starbucks for yourself this week. Can you feel it? I can and I did. But now I’ve gotta go pay for my brakes! Peace out, blonde vanilla latte!
Lack of Sleep.
Some people think us people with kids have a monopoly on this feeling, but we don’t. A lot of you understand what I mean. Maybe you struggle with insomnia or mental health or you work a zillion jobs and are putting yourself through school or you have a kid or two or anything over two which feels like fifteen–my point here? Lack of sleep is relevant in any stage of life we are in. Sleep is a basic need and when our basic needs aren’t met, any other stressors in life become amplified. At least we live in an age of streaming and what feels like unlimited access to caffeine. It makes the whole not sleeping thing a bit more bearable. But, if we are being honest, which is my aim here, it would be great to get a solid 6–dare I say 8 hours. For our sanity, if nothing else.
Sometimes I’m Dumb.
I mean this in the nicest way possible. Don’t you find yourself doing the dumbest things sometimes? Like sometimes your spouse is trying to be super kind to you and you respond with a snarky comment. Or maybe your friend is trying to help you and you don’t want them to consider you weak so you respond with your typical, “I’ve got this! Everything is fine.” The truth is, friends, we need each other. We are creatures created for community and we can’t do things alone. So we have to learn how to play nice or else life is going to be super lonely. Again, I’m saying this to you. I am definitely not the person who was snarky to their spouse or dismissive of their friend’s kindness. OR AM I?
Why Are There So Many Feelings Up in My Business?!
A few weeks ago we heard this phrase from a therapist: “The next ten years are going to be really hard for you.” It was said out of love and with great care and yet it stayed with me throughout the past couple of weeks. As I was speaking to our family therapist on the phone yesterday, I was telling her how tough that was to hear from that particular therapist and how concerned I was for our kids. Our family therapist said in the gentlest way possible, “Tone, are you sure she was talking about your kids? Don’t you think she was really talking to you?” And dang if that woman wasn’t 100% right. She was talking to me! Specifically. And I have to admit that was a huge dose of humility and wisdom that I needed. I am overwhelmed about school starting for Ruth this year and Ila next year with all that we have going on. But what’s great about kids–they’re not jaded like us! We have all of the feelings because we have all of the hurt and pain and betrayal that you inevitably gain from years of living. Kids who grow up in a healthy environment though? They have very little of that, if any. I am so grateful we have such wise counsel in our lives that will speak truths to us. It gave me a lot of much needed perspective and now I can parent from the place I was parenting from–love, not fear.
My mentor this morning told me a great story that led me to a beautiful phrase–ready? ‘Cause it rocks! “I get to ___” fill in the blank with whatever you get to do. Here are my, “I get tos:”
- I get to work at a job I love and use my gifts regularly.
- I get to live and worship in a community that cares about me.
- I get to be married to an amazing guy with a super cute butt.
- I get to parent three intelligent, funny, and beautiful women.
There’s a lot to be grateful for and even though those “I get tos” bring me a lot of stress, they are also my greatest source of joy. I don’t know where you are today. Life seems really heavy right now in our house and I hope if it’s the same for you that you can get to “I get to.” Consider that your life vest as we drown in adulthood together.