Why, Yes! I Do Have a Mustache.

The scene was eighth grade Spanish class. The place was a southwest suburb of Chicago. The time of day was irrelevant, but let's say it was after lunch. I sat down next to my seat mate; let's call him Kipp to maintain his privacy. Kipp, a very honest and kind eighth grade boy looked at…

Finding joy in the midst of grief.

Today is one of my abuser’s birthdays. It’s the one day of the year I genuinely dread. October 26th comes around and I fill it with as much goodness as possible to dull the pain. Today consisted of maximum energy spent on time with the kids, writing for seminary, running five miles, and doing chores.…

Grasping for Power

The truth stings when it reveals your sin. So you attack. Out of instinct. Out of fear. Insecurity. Pleasure. You don’t care if I’m your daughter, your wife, your sister, your mother, your cousin, your niece, your co-worker, your friend. You care about power. Always grasping for power. Which we take away by merely existing—or…

A longing for silence…

During this stay at home order, running continues to give me solace. Both Brian and I work full time, care for three children, and play teacher and sped professional (one of us is better at this than the other...). So, as you would imagine, we both need an outlet. On this Holy Saturday I went…

Raw

Feeling everything and nothing at the same time. Being filled and yet empty. Tired, yet alert. Believing people are good because they are made in the image of God. Trusting no one because people do horrible things. Words escape me and yet thousands stir within me. The life of a survivor is saying nothing because…

A Beautiful Tension

School drop-off. Monday thru Friday-- Tears everyday since September. Why? Because it never feels right. She is she... She is a child... She is special... She is vulnerable. And yet, this morning as the tension in my body dissipates it strains once again. Why? Because she is kind and she holds the door for all…

My favorite year.

2019 is my favorite year so far. So much happened in our family and yet, through it all, God grew each of us immensely. At the beginning of the year we each had our share of physical ailments; resulting in multiple trips to the ER, surgeries, and sprained ribs from coughing #welcometoyour30s ! We discovered…

Unexpected company…

He doesn't warn me when he plans to visit. Like an unwanted dinner party guest he arrives and makes himself comfortable. In my house. Uninvited. Commanding the room. And when all the guests have left the dinner party it's him and me. And he waits. He hangs around heavy like a proscenium stage curtain. Cloaking…

In the middle of it all.

Today my middle child, Ila Waters, turned five years old. I remember her pregnancy and birth so vividly. I loved being pregnant with her. At the time we had another little baby named Ruth and we were blissfully unaware how difficult it would be to have two babies at the same time. Ila arrived on…