Back to school, back to school, to prove to dada I’m not a fool…

If you don’t hear Billy Madison’s voice immediately after reading this first sentence, then you need to watch the movie first and then read this post. Not because it has anything to do with the post, but because I’m worried about your pop culture health if you don’t get the reference…

It’s that’s time of year again. The school year is beginning. There’s a hint of fall in the air. Basic suburbanites are flocking to Starbucks for PSLs. I adore fall. Change is something that I don’t like, but tend to heartily embrace and that’s fall. It is a change agent. Colors change, leaves disburse, and a new year enters. There’s a freshness and renewal to this time which makes me feel lighter.

This fall has me feeling a bit heavier though. My kids have reached school age. One will be in school everyday at kindergarten and another will be in pre-K/5s mostly full-time. Seriously, it’s a lot to manage. Teachers (including my husband) I bow down to you because school is so involved schedule wise. I can barely keep track of all of the things which need to get done. Thanks for existing, Google calendar!

Besides all of the typical day to day things all parents and caregivers must do, we will parent through extra appointments, IEPs, and managing a slough of other things I cannot even begin to describe because the special needs world is complex. Special needs parents, now that I have a glimpse of what we need to go through for our children simply to begin school, I am in awe of you. For real. The wind up to school has been almost unbearable. The behaviors and feelings big, the anticipation palpable, the paperwork overwhelming, the waiting so bittersweet. I keep telling myself I’m somewhere between pure elation and pure dread.

But there is a joy in knowing how incredible my child with special needs is. She thinks so differently, has the kindest heart, and is beyond intelligent. Because of who she is, she will surely do great things. So even though I grieve and wonder and over analyze what I think might be a challenging path for her, I am confident in her ability to overcome obstacles. And I’m confident in our village. We have the very best family, friends, church family, and surrounding community.

So as nervous as I am for the first day of school for my littles this year, I have great hope for their future. My friends, I pray you are filled with this same hope for each of your children, no matter their circumstances.

Not pictured, Ila who does not like having her picture taken.