School drop-off.

Monday thru Friday–

Tears everyday since September.

Why?

Because it never feels right.

She is she…

She is a child…

She is special…

She is vulnerable.

And yet, this morning as the tension in my body dissipates it strains once again.

Why?

Because she is kind and she holds the door for all who enter with a smile.

I am both elated and terrified.

Will she make it in? Will she find something interesting and make a run for it? Who will find her if she does?

And then a mother comes to relieve her. And I have tears in my eyes again.

This mom won’t understand how much her simple gesture of relieving my daughter of door duty means to me.

I observe this from my car. Taking up space because I learned not to apologize for ensuring my kids are safe.

And yet I know they are God’s. I am only a temporary guardian this side of heaven.

What a beautiful tension…