He doesn't warn me when he plans to visit. Like an unwanted dinner party guest he arrives and makes himself comfortable. In my house. Uninvited. Commanding the room. And when all the guests have left the dinner party it's him and me. And he waits. He hangs around heavy like a proscenium stage curtain. Cloaking…
In the middle of it all.
Today my middle child, Ila Waters, turned five years old. I remember her pregnancy and birth so vividly. I loved being pregnant with her. At the time we had another little baby named Ruth and we were blissfully unaware how difficult it would be to have two babies at the same time. Ila arrived on…
Back to school: the ramblings of an anxious mother.
Back to school, back to school, to prove to dada I'm not a fool... If you don't hear Billy Madison's voice immediately after reading this first sentence, then you need to watch the movie first and then read this post. Not because it has anything to do with the post, but because I'm worried about…
Things should have gone differently.
Marathon training consumes many of my days. At this point it's like another job. It's a job I have enjoyed very much because the end game is to raise money to give people access to basic needs we so take for granted: water, sanitation, and education. Which is why today has me feeling defeated. Today…
A Letter to My Daughters/When I Die (Part II)
Dear Ruth, Ila, and Jane, A mentor of mine suggested I document moments when I saw your character as kids because I will begin to see signs of what you might be like as an adult. Today I want to recognize each of you for who you are at this moment in time: Ruth My…
My heart outside of my body.
"She Will Be Loved"--can't you tell Brian is playing guitar just for me as I serenade him with my alto-ness? Music. The very first thing that brought us together. The thing we continue to make as we grow together in spiritual, physical, and emotional love. Mashups of "Call Me Maybe" & "Payphone." Originals written together,…
I’ll never get this right…the myth of balanced parenthood.
Today is my last day as a "part-time" employee at my church. This past year has been wonderful because I have had the opportunity to work two days/week and then stay home with my kiddos three days/week at an extremely flexible job. Tomorrow I will be full-time again, clocking in at 36 hours/week at the…
Help me! I’m drowning in adulthood!
The week after vacation is always hard. When people ask how our trip was, I typically say, "it was great! I could've used a few more days." It's true. A few more days? Weeks? Months? Yeah, I could use a whole lot more of any of those. But life presses on and so must we.…
I don’t like holidays.
Pessimism does not come naturally to me. Positivity is in my top eight strengths according to Gallup, so when I say I don't like something, I tend to cringe a little bit. There's got to be a silver lining somewhere, right? But holidays are hard. Growing up, holidays were anything but joyous. Filled with the…
A Letter to My Daughters/When I Die (Part 1)
Dear Ruth, Ila, and Jane, If you're reading this, you're either old enough to read my writing now or I'm dead. Either way, wow! How did we get here? I'm so proud of who you are and who you will be. I think every parent wants to impart wisdom onto their kids, so I'm going…
Mustaches and Tiaras 